I'd like to thank the diaper industry. Truly. This is a miracle of modern invention, and sliced bread proportions. I mean c'mon, think about it, how long ago was it when we were gape-jawed apes hunkered around a water pit, wondering why our little baby-ape children kept pooping in the drinking water.
Then came cotton (I imaging a dark-ages run were burlap was the diaper of choice, but the thought just chafes, so I'll move on). Cotton stayed around a long time. And a tip of the hat to my friend Brian, who went enviro and stayed w/ the reusable wonder until his kiddo developed a rash. "A rash." Sure. Or perhaps he developed an aversion to finding himself covered in his kid's crap six out of seven days a week. (OK, he's for real, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say it was the rash).
So today, there is a vast R&D arm at Procter and Gamble that I imagine must look like the Kennedy Space Center. Huge clean rooms with white-clad scientists pouring beakers of blue liquid on an endless series of substances to find that miracle material that will hold one more drop.
They're missing the point, badly.
While it's true that diapers will hold the equivalent of a small swimming pool of liquid, what they fail to account for is, well, the crap. It's not a leakage due to weak elastic bands. It's all about VOLUME.
Seriously, Kylen saves himself up for about three days, then, mid-meal one fine workmorning, while daddy sits with him, about to head out the door, the little eyes go crossed, the mouth sets, his gaze fixes over my shoulder and wham...
Now, you expect a bit of leakage from time to time. But this kid explodes out through both leg holes, and all the way up his back to his shoulder blades. His diaper goes Jiffy-Pop but it never really stood a chance. Neither do I, as I sit with two handfuls and a rapidly soaking pair of dress pants.
That's the moment I get the first squeal of joy for the day, and I smile back, suppressing my gag reflex.
"Feel better?"
Note to diaper industry scientists: the condom industry came up with the "reservoir tip." Consider something similar.