Riley had his first baseball game of the season today, round
about the time I was on a plane to Cincinnati. At some point during the season I’ll
have a moment when I’ll wish there were fewer games, or at least not in the
morning, or some such useless thought that offends the gods of summer as well
it should. Today I simply ached inside as he recounted on the phone about his
very first double, hit over the head of the second baseman.
Riley’s not the smallest on the team this year, but only
because it’s a three-way tie. Some of his teammates can catch a decent line
drive and make a throw from third to first. Riley can get it about halfway from
second to first, his little hands working to grasp a too-big ball. And a power
hit for him reaches the pitcher (the coach) before bouncing. I feared a summer
of outs at first for a lefty hitter who consistently puts it between first and
second.
But what he lacks in strength he makes up for with a laser
eye paired to great timing. That kid can hit. Every time.
So to hear that he launched one, well, I did a little dance
in the Cincinnati airport, and fully felt the joy of the Proud Dad. Seeing him reach
first safely is a triumph. Missing him crack a double. Well, just give me a
moment and I’ll be fine…sure I will. I’m amazed every day to see what he can
do, speechless at what he knows, and scared to death at how smart he is.
And he still holds my hand everywhere we go.
I look at Kylen and see this independent little guy,
limp-fishing my hand if forced to hold it to cross a parking lot. With Ky I
steal my moments, like when I plunk down to watch some Bugs Bunny with the boys
and he hops on the couch and lays across my lap and lets me rub his back. He
doesn’t give many of those, too filled with the joy of his task at hand.
Maybe it’s the second kid syndrome…I just feel like he’ll
make his way. He’s comfortable with himself. He doesn’t try to gather eyeballs
to his every move like some kids. He’s stubborn as hell, and ready to drive
himself, dammit, if I won’t take him. He, too, is a remarkable child.
I wonder at times how to foster “it” in each of them…to help
them find their passion and joy. I watch out the corner of my eye as I explore
something with them that interests me. I called Riley upstairs to help me
solder wires for my car stereo. I showed him the soldering gun and let him hold
the solder to help. As it melted I gave him a “huh? HUH? Cool, right?!” and
watched his fleeting little spark of interest. Check it off the list and move
on.
I can’t find it for either of them, I know. So I just throw
a bunch of stuff at the wall to see if anything sticks. But that’s ok too.
It’s only at 35,000 feet that I manage to process all of it.
What a gift those kids are. They shine a light on not just what’s important in
life, but what’s important to me. I don’t
do this naturally. I’m not an avid anything
in truth. I’m pretty fascinated by everything
I suppose. And maybe that’s good enough.
Hell, it will have to be, won’t it?